Guitar Hero Even Rats

It’s been a while since I’ve published a long-form shitpost listicle, so here ya go. This one is exactly what it sounds like; every venue from the 2006 video game

Rated by how clean I think their bathrooms would be. For the full effect, listen along to the soundtrack while reading to envision it all properly.

Allegedly based on the Hartland Performing Arts Center in Howell, MI, if Nilbog is anything like Bled Fest, then the bathrooms are plentiful and relatively well-kept. Possibly one or two clogs throughout the grounds and most likely a handful that have run out of paper towels, but the sheer number of bathrooms make up for the few that have fallen into disrepair. 7/10.

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. I’d bet $100 that the stalls here don’t have doors, so I hope you’re not shit shy. They probably have more stickers on the bathroom walls than passing health inspector grades. 2/10.

The Blackout Bar feels like a pretty standard midsized bar venue. They’re committed to a color scheme, which I always appreciate. The bathrooms are probably serviceable, if not a little coke-dusted. The ground is slightly damp, but if you don’t think too hard about it, you can almost convince yourself it’s because they just mopped in there. You can still hear the band pretty well while doing your business, so that’s always a bonus. 6/10.

An imagined theater named after a video game developer? You just know they have Doritos available as concessions. Name aside, I can almost guarantee an excellent bathroom experience. They definitely have nice, wide stalls, fresh urinal cakes, and hand-sensors on the sinks. The only downside is that it’s probably a bit of a hike from the stage to get to the restrooms at the back of the venue. 8/10.

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Seemingly modeled after the Fox Theatre in downtown Detroit, I know exactly what the bathrooms in The Rock City Theater look like. There’s a checker tile pattern on the floor, a bathroom attendant hocking mints, and plumbing that’s older than most of the acts that play there. Outside of the spacious bathroom design, the number of stalls means that there is almost always a line snaking out the arched doorway, and for that, I must deduct several points. 5/10.

Even if you’ve never been to Warped Tour, you’ve probably attended an outdoor festival, so you know what to expect. The bathrooms are just a series of four dozen portapotties tucked away somewhere on the festival grounds. The only way to clean yourself is either with a squirt of hand sanitizer or one of those weird outdoor pump-style sinks. This setup is fine as long as you use the bathroom within the first few hours of doors, but they fill up with human waste so fast that you must prepare for the worst and use them only out of desperation at a certain point. Plus, this is in Texas? Hot southern weather and festival portapotties are a combination straight out of hell. 1/10.

Based on its location in Oakland, it’s safe to assume that the Harmonix Area was crafted in the image of the Oracle Arena. These places are quite literally designed for hordes of people swilling $13 beers and pissing en-masse. They have enough urinals for an army, and I respect that. The restrooms often have basic designs and are dotted throughout the area, so you’re never too far from relief if needed. Plus, most of the bathrooms deposit you straight back to the vendor areas, so you can empty your bladder and refill your beer in one hyper-efficient trip. Definitely a solid setup. 9/10.

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Following the grand tradition of ornate and increasingly mystical final levels, Guitar Hero II ends in Stonehenge. While I’d like to assume this would be a standard outdoor show portapotty setup, Stonehenge

Technically a prehistoric monument. I could see them now allowing the go-to festival setup in order to preserve the sanctity of the grounds. So, worst case, this is kind of like a hiking trail “just hold it” situation,

People are just goin’ for it in nature. Freeing as this can be, in almost any case, it means that the bathroom setup is lacking. I guess it would kinda be worth it to see a UFO synch its lights up to a performance of “Free Bird, ” but that’s a long way to go for all the holding in you’d have to do. 4/10.This is where it all began. Sure, rhythm games had been around long before Harmonix and Red Octane stepped in to the ring to deliver the first Guitar Hero, but come November of 2005, the genre would never be the same again.

All Main Songs (and Their Respective Albums) That Appeared On Guitar Hero Games From 2005 2010

Kickstarting one of the highest grossing video game franchises ever, the original Guitar Hero featured a fairly small main setlist consisting of 30 cover versions of popular rock songs from the 60s through to the early 00s. In addition, there were another 18 bonus songs that were master recordings of lesser known songs, mostly from in-house Harmonix bands like Freezepop and Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives. There were also two songs (Trippolette and Graveyard Shift) that were only available through use of a cheat device like the GameShark, although I personally don’t count those as being part of the setlist.

Of the main 30 song setlist, an impressive 20 songs are currently playable in Rocksmith 2014 making for a total of 66% of the setlist. Currently none of the bonus songs are playable, meaning that of the complete 47 song setlist, 42% of the setlist is playable in Rocksmith.

NOTE: While Smoke on the Water is an original recording, the version used in Rocksmith uses an alternate take of the guitar solo.

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Guitar Hero had a really spectacular setlist, and while we have a decent amount of it in the game, there’s a bunch we’d love to see in Rocksmith. Here’s the tracks we’d love to see the most:

Black Sabbath are one of the most beloved bands of all time, and this song features a downright iconic riff. While master issues are likely behind this song never reaching later Guitar Hero or Rock Band games, here’s hoping this song makes its way to Rocksmith sooner rather than later.

Fans of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas may remember this seminal 90s alt-rock track. A live version appeared in Guitar Hero: Smash Hits, although it doesn’t export. Other than that, this song has never re-appeared in a rhythm game. It would certainly be at home rounding off a possible Hit Singles VI…

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Quite literally a stellar song, pair this with Drive and A Certain Shade of Green and you’ve got a hell of a second Incubus pack.

Fitting that we get a chance to talk about the original guitar hero in an article about the original Guitar Hero. While this may have seemed like wishful thinking only a couple years ago, following the massive Jimi Hendrix pack we received that was curiously missing this song. Hopefully we’re not too far away from getting more Hendrix in the game!

Seriously, we’ve had how many “Rock Hits”, “Hit Singles”, and “Women Who Rock” packs and yet somehow we still don’t have one of the very definitions of “classic rock”? Come on, Rocksmith!

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The first “final boss” in the series, Bark at the Moon is a rhythm game classic. It appeared again as DLC for Rock Band 3 where it was exclusive to purchasers the Ozzy Osbourne 8-Pack. Hopefully the licensing doesn’t wind up to be prohibitively tricky and we see this song in Rocksmith soon.

To date we’ve only had a cover version and a live version in rhythm games. It’d be great to finally see the original version show up so that we can finally rock out exactly like ZZ Top do!

Posted by zodaries14

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